Lessons From a Buddhist Monk on Mindfulness

Last October, our health clinic was blessed with the presence of a Buddhist monk by the name of Bhante Dhammawansha. He visited our clinic to deliver a talk on the practice of mindfulness and how we can use it to reduce stress in our busy lives. His talk encompassed a variety of lessons, all of which were designed to free us from creating our own suffering. This blog is about these lessons. I hope they serve you and inspire you to join us on March 4 for a Mini-Meditation Retreat led by Bhante himself!

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Lesson #1:  A Full or Empty Mind Does Not Equal Mindfulness

• It seems that I and many others learning and practicing mindfulness have a difficult time letting go of the whirlwind of thoughts blowing around in our heads. The moment I decided to make my mind "empty", I unknowingly filled it back up again. If my mind were a tea cup, I might say that it is constantly overflowing at times.  
  
  Bhante instructed us during the talk that, over time, through practice, devotion, an open mind, and an open heart, we can achieve a sense of peacefulness internally as this is the residence of mindfulness as well as the path we should take: the path inside of us.

​Lesson #2:  Respond. Don't React

• ​When you face a challenging situation or person, what happens to you? Do you cower internally with fear? Do you immediately start throwing accusations? Do you blame the rest of the world? It seems these are the common choices most people make, which eventually lead to unnecessary pain and suffering. 
  
  So what is the best way to change? Avoid reacting and start responding. 
  
  A response is nothing more than a "trained" reaction. Bhante taught us that if you encounter a person who is in a state of upset (even a friend) you must remain calm in order to maintain your mindfulness. If you can learn to remain calm, you will understand that all that is required of you is to listen, be compassionate, and wait for the person to become "green". Essentially, this means when the other person is upset, they are "red", like a traffic light. While you are "waiting at the light", you observe them as their thoughts and words fly by until they become "green" once again. Sounds easy enough, right? (This will really test your ability to respond versus react!)

Lesson #3:  Mindfulness Leads to Happiness

• What is the ultimate goal you wish to achieve? Be rich? Own a house? Buy a Mercedes? Travel the world?
  
  If you take away all of the material wants that people have in the world, and ask them what they are truly yearning for throughout their lives, I can bet you that 10 out of 10 people's responses will be something directly related to happiness. Who in their right mind doesn't want to be happy? As a child, it is so easy to smile and forget about the toy your sibling won't share with you or the knee that got scraped when you fell on the sidewalk. But isn't it interesting that as an adult, it becomes more and more difficult to smile? It seems that many people have forgotten what it means to be happy and how to create happiness in their own lives. Even Bhante acknowledged that most people are looking for happiness, but they don't realize that the search is within themselves. It is not something you can find out in the world. Happiness is born and lives inside of us all. We just have to poke it every now and then to make sure our happiness is awake!

Sign Up for Bhante's Next Event on March 4

Lesson #4:  Don't Make Yourself Blind (or Anyone Else)

• Has anyone every wronged you in such a way that your only thought is to get back at them for what they did? The story of retaliation is one that never ends well for either side. The saying goes "eye for an eye tooth for a tooth". Bhante shared with us another saying that I liked much better though: 

"An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind." - Mahatma Gandhi

• The choice is up to you. You can continue to flail around recklessly in hope of getting your revenge when you've been wronged (blinded). Or, you can learn to practice mindfulness starting with the first three lessons and instead learn how to respond without hurting yourself or others.

Lesson #5:  Lead By Example

• ​The final lesson I learned in Bhante's talk was that I have a responsibility to lead by example. Once again, when someone is in the state of upset (red light), you simply be mindful, calm, and don't react until the person moves out of that state of mind (green light).
  
  One of the main questions many people had, myself included, was how do you be mindful when a friend or colleague you know is in a state of upset and is only looking to commiserate with someone they trust? The answer Bhante provided was of no surprise. He simply told us that we should listen, observe, and wait until...(yes, you know the answer)...they become "green" again. The moment you latch on to their upset and add wood to their fire is the moment you begin to step farther and farther away from a state of peace.
  
  A person venting is not necessarily hurting themselves. They are actually releasing "heat" inside of their body, hence the term venting. Once all the excess heat has been released, the person has become "cool" once again. So, don't add more "heat" to the situation; instead, simply listen, observe, and give the person the opportunity to "cool off". Then, just maybe, the person may say thank you for listening and ask you how you are so calm. This is the moment you have become a leader for the other person and begin to teach them about mindfulness.

If you found these lessons to be valuable, we hope you can join us on Saturday, March 4 for a Mini-Meditation Retreat led by Bhante himself. Details can be found here. (Registration is required.)

Peacefully,

Justin Flinner is the owner of My Metro Medicine and has worked in the exercise and health industries for nearly 20 years. He is a licensed medical practitioner, university professor, and national champion in Chinese martial arts. He has worked for numerous government and financial institutions in the nation's capital delivering programs, seminars, and classes on countless health topics. Please send any inquiries you have for Justin to [email protected].